Happy Halloween
by SilverScarecrow
Summary: Author: Tez-Taylor. Hakuba attends a police Halloween party and wants to have a little fun with a maid. EisukeHakuba. OOC and crack writing!


Apparently, Tezzy does not like how this came out.

I dunno, form your own opinions! It's Eisuke/Hakuba, probably the only in existance. Enjoy.

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"How much longer, Grandma?" asked the young British boy leaning back in his car seat.

"We only left the house, Hakuba...." answered the older women while switching lanes.

"True," replied Hakuba, "But I don't want to be seen by the general public in this outfit..."

"Nonsense, Hakuba!" shouted the grandmother still focusing her eyes on the road, "You look great as a vampire!"

"I wanted to go as Sherlock!" shouted Hakuba throwing a child like fit.

"Too bad!" shouted the grandmother, "You're going as a vampire!"

"Fine!" shouted Hakuba leaning back even further in his seat. "Are we there yet?"

"No," answered the grandmother, "Now shut up!"

Hakuba did as his grandmother asked and stayed quite. However, this didn't last for long.

"Why do I even have to go to this stupid party?" asked Hakuba still throwing the fit.

"Because Officer Nakamouri invited you," answered the grandmother annoyed, "And it's Halloween, Hakuba, be happy. You're going to get candy!"

"I'm not four anymore, Grandma!" shouted Hakuba even more annoyed, "I don't want candy on Halloween! I want to watch horror films and solve murders!"

"Then act your age!" shouted the grandmother at her grandson, still trying to focus on driving her vehicle.

"Are we there yet?" asked Hakuba yet again.

"Yes! Get out!" shouted the grandmother.

"Lies!" replied Hakuba.

"Whatever, now shut up or I really will kick you out of the car..." said the grandmother making a right turn.

"Fine..." replied Hakuba.

Hakuba stayed quite for good for the rest of the drive. The soon pulled up to the airport's Hilton hotel and Hakuba got out.

"Bye Grandma!" shouted Hakuba still annoyed.

"Shut up!" shouted the grandmother as she drove away leaving Hakuba there.

Hakuba sighed as he walked into the large hotel. He asked the front desk where the party was being held and she pointed Hakuba in the direction of Ballroom 2. He thanked her and made his way to the ballroom.

'I hate parties so much...' he thought to himself as he walked, 'I'd rather be chasing Kid down...'

He found his way finally to the ballroom and opened the doors. The party had already begun. In the room, there were several police officers dressed as Halloweenish creatures such as werewolves and zombies. Hakuba wasn't interested in talking to anyone that night and only wanted to tell Nakamouri that he was here.

It took a few minutes, but he did eventually find Nakamouri. He was dressed in a normal suit and had his hair flattened except for two strands of hair that fell over his forehead.

"Happy Halloween, Hakuba!" shouted Nakamouri when he caught sight of Hakuba, "nicked to be a vampire, I see!"

"Yes, sir," responded Hakuba, "But what are you, sir?"

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Nakamouri. Hakuba shook his head in responses and Nakamouri continued, "I'm the great detective Mouri Kogoro!"

"Very good, sir," said Hakuba unexcited.

"What's wrong, Hakuba?" asked Nakamouri when Hakuba didn't give the response he wanted.

"I'm not a fan of Halloween parties..." responded Hakuba still uncaring.

"That's too bad," responded Nakamouri grabbing a cup of punch and handing it to Hakuba, "This should cheer you up a bit."

"I doubt that sir..." moaned Hakuba taking a sip of it.

"How about my daughter?" asked Nakamouri, "She's here too."

"She is?" asked Hakuba a bit more hopeful.

"Yes, she's the one in the fish suit over there talking with Kaito, who is Kaitou Kid for some reason," answered Nakamouri who was now lost in thought as to how Kaito got such an authentic Kaitou Kid outfit.

"Meh, forget it then..." replied Hakuba knowing he already lost Aoko to Kaito.

"Why don't you try talking with some of the other girls here then?" asked Nakamouri trying to lighten the British boy's mood.

"Like who?" asked Hakuba considering the idea.

"Why not check out that pretty chick over there?" asked Nakamouri steering Hakuba in the direction of a girl dressed as a maid.

"Do you know who that is?" asked Hakuba curiously.

"Not really," replied Nakamouri thinking for a second, "I know that she's a friend on a Mouri's daughter. I told him to invite anyone he wanted, so she came along."

"I see," said Hakuba who was staring at the maid, "She's got a really nice ass..."

"I'd agree, but I think that would seem a bit illegal for me," said Nakamouri letting out a laugh, "Go talk to her then, and have fun!"

Nakamouri shoved Hakuba towards the table where the maid was leaning against. He glared back at Nakamouri, who gave a thumbs up as a response. Hakuba figured that he might as well talk to her, since he had nothing better to do.

"Hello," he started off simple.

She turned around to see who was addressing her. She had a black pixie hair and wore a pair of very large round glasses that hid her blue eyes. She looked a bit like Mizunashi Rena, the famous news reporter. She was, in Hakuba's opinion, very beautiful.

"Umm...hello," replied the maid brushing some hair out of her eyes.

"I just saw you across the room and thought I'd talk to you," said Hakuba smoothly.

"I see," replied the maid, "My name's Eisuke, what's yours?"

"That's a very nice name," answered Hakuba, "Mine's Hakuba."

"It's very nice to meet you, Hakuba," she said holding out her hand, "Where are you from? You don't look Japanese."

"I'm from England," answered Hakuba proudly shaking the maid's hand, "The land of Sherlock!"

"I love Sherlock," replied Eisuke happily, "I'm just from Japan, but I do have some American blood in me."

'A Sherlock fan,' thought Hakuba, 'And she's hot! I hit the jackpot!'

"America is awesome," started Hakuba, "But nothing beats the British!"

"I believe America did," stated Eisuke.

"Yeah..." replied Hakuba still trying to seem cool, "Anyway, how's your night going?"

"It's going good right now," started Eisuke drinking a little punch, "I don't know many people here, and my friends took off on me leaving me here all alone..."

"That sounds horrible!" said Hakuba trying to sound sincere, "Why don't you just hang out with me for the night? I'm not here with anyone neither."

"That sounds fun!" said Eisuke happily, "What do you want to do now?"

"I don't know..." said Hakuba hesitantly, "Want to have sex?"

"Umm..." Eisuke couldn't believe what she just heard, "...what...?"

"I said do you want a Sex on the beach?" said Hakuba seeing Eisuke wasn't as willing as he had hoped.

"Sex on the beach?" asked Eisuke more curious.

"It's a drink, my friend," answered Hakuba, "It's alcoholic."

"I don't drink," answered Eisuke calmly.

"Come on," said Hakuba nudging him a bit, "You'd like it!"

"Okay..." replied Eisuke, "But only a little!"

Hakuba walked over to where Nakamouri was, as he was talking with a few other police officers. He was visibly drunk and wasn't watching his drinks. Hakuba quickly stole all the drinks from the other drunken men and returned to Eisuke and handed her some.

"I really shouldn't..." said Eisuke a little worried.

"Just drink it!" said Hakuba sipping a little himself.

"Okay..." said Eisuke drinking some now.

Hakuba and Eisuke drank for most of the party. Hakuba stopped part way and waited for Eisuke to get drunk enough to sleep with him.

"Oh...Hakuba...your teeth...they're so...sharp..." said the drunken maid.

"I'm a vampire, remember?" asked Hakuba chuckling a little at the sight of the drunken Eisuke.

"Oh yeah..." said Eisuke remembering, "You're one sexy vampire!"

"Thanks..." said Hakuba. He saw that it was finally try the question again, "Can we exchange bodily fluids?"

"Hell yeah!" shouted Eisuke loudly, "Where do you want to do it, hot smex?"

"I don't know..." said Hakuba looking around the room, "There's a closet over there," he said pointing at it, "How about there?"

"Yeah, let's go now, Sexula!" shouted Eisuke running drunkenly over to the closet. Hakuba didn't understand that last nickname but followed close by anyway.

Hakuba opened the door of the closet for the maid and she ran in. The closet was bare except for a closed barrel, some mops, and cleaning supplies. Hakuba figured it was perfect for what they planned to do.

"So..." started Hakuba, "You ready to start?"

"Hell yes!" she shouted, "Do you want to do the romance, or just go right to the sex?"

"I guess romance, not really fun without it," answered Hakuba looking at the room for the perfect spot, "Let's start on that barrel, yes?"

"Yes, you sexy green beast!" shouted Eisuke, who clearly wasn't seeing colors right now.

Hakuba sat down on the barrel and patted it to welcome Eisuke on. She got on it and looked confused.

"What do you want to do first?" asked Eisuke.

"I don't know..." Hakuba realized that he's never actually tried to romance a girl, "I guess kiss?"

"That sounds grand, big boy!" said Eisuke puckering up her lips to kiss.

Hakuba hesitated, but eventually kissed Eisuke back on the lips. After a few seconds of tongue, he started to take up her shirt sexually. He untied her apron slowly while petting her hair, and she enjoyed it. Soon, Hakuba started to pull off her full maid's outfit, revealing her chest. However, Hakuba noticed something.

"Umm..." started Hakuba confused, "Where's your breasts?"

"What do ya mean?" asked the drunken Eisuke, "Of course I don't have any boobs!"

"What do you mean?" asked Hakuba a little horrified.

"I'm a dude!" shouted Eisuke, "Now kiss me again!"

"Oh my god!" shouted Hakuba rubbing his lips, "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I thought you knew?" said Eisuke.

"I most certainly did not!" shouted Hakuba, "You're a whore!"

"Hey, you're the one that asked to sleep with me first..." said Eisuke shrugging his shoulders, "Does this mean you're done?"

"What the hell do you think?!" shouted Hakuba getting up to leave the room.

"Wait!" shouted Eisuke stopping Hakuba in his tracks, "Can you stay with me just a bit longer?"

"What the hell for, you Shemale?!" shouted Hakuba angrily.

"I'm not friends with many people..." said Eisuke softly, "It's been nice talking to you and all. And you're not a bad kisser!"

"Yeah, yeah..." said Hakuba annoyed.

"Anyway, I've never slept with anyway, and I wouldn't have minded losing my virginity to you!"

"Yeah, yeah..." said Hakuba again, now having his back to Eisuke.

Eisuke took this chance to grab Hakuba by the shoulder. He pulled Hakuba on top of him back onto the barrel.

"Let go!" shouted Hakuba trying to free himself from the boy's grasp.

"Silly Hakuba!" shouted Eisuke holding the British boy down on top of him, "Tricks are for Kid!"

Hakuba questioned how that had anything to do with his situation, but continued to struggle. He managed to grab Eisuke's wrist and held it above Eisuke's head to try and free himself more.

Then, the door of the closet opened. Kaito dressed as the Kaitou Kid walked it.

"Did someone call my name?" asked Kaito pointing at himself. He then noticed the two boys, "Umm...what are you guys doing?"

"It's not what it looks like!" shouted Hakuba panicked, "This He-She tricked me!"

"He everyone!" shouted Kaito calling people over, "They're having gay sex in here!"

"Shut the hell up, Kaito!" shouted Hakuba still trying to get off Eisuke, who was still holding him down.

However, it was too late. Several police officers walked over and saw what was happening. Nakamouri pulled himself to the front and freaked out on the sight.

"That thing's not a girl?!" shouted Nakamouri panicked.

"I swear I didn't know!" shouted Hakuba finally freeing himself from Eisuke's grasp.

"How could you, Hakuba?!" shouted Aoko, "And on the Bobbing for Apples barrel?!"

"Hey!" shouted Nakamouri, "That means we have to arrest you!"

"What?!" shouted Hakuba horrified, "What the hell for?!"

"It's illegal in Japan to have sex over a barrel full of apples..." answered Nakamouri putting handcuffs on Hakuba.

"This isn't fair!" shouted Hakuba, "Say something Eisuke!"

"Eisuke?" said Kaito looking at Eisuke, "Hey! I know you, we had a fun time the other night, didn't we?"

"Hell yeah!" shouted Eisuke, "Best sex I've had in awhile!"

"Hey!" shouted Hakuba as Nakamouri started taking him away, "You're not a virgin, are you?"

"Nope! I lied!" shouted Eisuke to Hakuba, who was removed from the party and thrown in jail. Hakuba stayed there for a long time, cursing the drunken Maid.

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RandR plz and thank you ^^

~Tez


End file.
